On the way back home again

Where they knew me as a child

Everyone seemed cheerful, kind

So kind, so kind, so kind

They called me names, said I was fat

I cried myself to sleep at night

Until I couldn’t eat at all

 

Now I’m heading back again

It’s Christmas time, I’m coming home

Coming, coming, coming, ho-ho-home

Only to visit, only to visit

Only here to visit

 

I became someone I wasn’t

A picture-perfect sight for them

They didn’t care about my heart

Just bones beneath the thinnest cloth

So beautiful, so beautiful

A smile to keep them entertained

But my pillow stayed soaked with tears

 

Now I’m heading back again

It’s Christmas time, I’m coming home

But only to visit, only to visit

Only here to visit

 

The dance went on without me there

I left that town, escaped despair

To a place where no one knew my name

But I couldn’t find myself there, too

Didn’t know who I was

Didn’t know who I was

 

Help didn’t come like angel bright

White sheets wrapped around my bed

Life itself began to fade

To fade, to fade, to fade

That’s when I started finding me

Bit by bit, I came alive

Day by day, I found my light

 

Now I’m heading back again

It’s Christmas time, I’m coming home

It’s Christmas time, I’m coming home

It’s Christmas time, I’m coming home

To visit, only to visit

Only here to visit

 

They’re all inside, their laughter warm

The kids play round the glowing tree

I smile for them, I play the role

A mask they’re welcome not to see

This façade I built for them

It’s alright, It’s alright,

It’s alright, I’ll let it be

 

But outside in the falling snow

I smile because I know I’m free

I don’t need this, I don’t need them to see

I won’t say it, they don’t need to hear

It’s enough that I know it clear

 

It’s alright, I’m whole, I’m here

I understand they turned away

Or maybe they just didn’t know how

But closing eyes doesn’t save a soul

Closing eyes won’t ever heal

It only builds a fragile peace

 

Now I’m heading back again

It’s Christmas time, I walk back inside

But only to visit, only to visit,

Only here to visit